ben çok sevdim bunu..

ben de cok seviyorum onu
saygilar cahit bey...... :S

--
what i am to u is not real

cok guzel bi foto. renkler ve de bakislar super

aılem gelıverdı aklıma
sımsekler caktı beynımde

"missing... for the past... the unrealible...
if i didn't know that man -- with a baby -- is my father, i probably refuse my life as her-my future model
innocence... the word we forgot, the word we deliberately keep in heart, we grown, the day is coming by..."

This is what you write to accompany a picture of you and your father. The "version" number next to the post (retro v.1) lets suppose that there will be more coming up. Lets hope for it, because this picture is quite something.

I do not get all the concepts you want to express with your text (some of the English is slightly misunderstandable or, probably, a direct translation of a Turkish way of saying things that in Turkish work but in English become double-standard and strange).

But (but!) the picture -- as always -- speaks a thousand words.

The man's gaze into the camera is almost menacing, his eyes are squeezed together not to avoid the sunlight, but to give a precise signal of apparent strength and power. But he is in an odd situation. He not only seems to not feel right but somehow incites the photographer (your mother?) to make it quick, or to make it right, but anyway to do something for him that apparently he is not sure will happen. Not to mention that he does not look at his little daughter, nor have his hands a particularly "warm" or "confortable" position for both him and the little girl. He does not belong there, he said "yes" to the picture, but now that he sat down, that your mother has "handed you over", and that he is sitting there with you - and he really looks like he doesn't know what to do with you - he wants to go away asap.
And the little girl, you, is so incredibly serious. Almost no happiness, no smile at all. And her hands do not try to touch the fathers stronger and bigger hands, as I would have expected. The legs are almost straight. The little girl's body language says "let me go, I don't belong here!".

Were you so aware already?

And why do you insist so much about innocence? You WERE innocent at that age because you were. Not because you LOOK innocent: you look quite knowing. Almost totally aware of the situation's oddness. You look like you KNOW, and also know you ought to just wait for the moment you can take your own decisions. And when that time would have come, this is what your face says, you will never ever get yourself in a situation like this.

Esra, what I most think about, after the text you write about it, and the version number you give to this pic, is: where do you want to go with this? And: why do it so publicly? Or is this way of openly laying out your history (and all the related emotions) on the internet your way of asking for intimacy? The net and the - virtually - infinite number of people who could see this page of yours, do they give you a - strangely - feeling of home, as if they were a sort of an extended family?

Anyway, you hit me again, as you always do. I spent lots of minutes looking at the picture and thinking about the text. And lot of minutes to write this little text. You make me think.
And apart from all the rest, i am grateful for this. Again.

küçüklük fotolarımın olmaması. ne kadar kötü.. annem diyo hastaneden hastaneye koştuk seninle fotoğraf çektirmeye zamanımızı olmadı... resim betimleme çok hoş

hog wash.

your interpretation of the picture and the fact of what is taken is distinctly two different matters.

I think Moonsco has some hills to clear, maybe, but the last thing she needs from turkeys like you is toxic negative interpretation from your opinion which I do not see how it contributes to aid?

maybe we should stay out of peoples' personal world, espeically if it concerns their direct dependants... since we are not even in association with them to understand situation of that time, let alone interpretating the whole matter from a 2D picture.

believe in God? guess you got a good career there...

To Moonsco,

wow... it looks like a dated picture from the dressing of the man, meanwhile, have fun. And I hope Bird Flu stays away from you and other Turks... well, maybe, it should be confined to turkeys...

Regards
Velve

çok güzel

--
_{i was looking for another you when i looked round you were gone}